Before & After Kids: Leaving the House

We’ve already established that once you have kids your photo stream looks much different, your weekends are more tiring than ever, and every car ride is an unpredictable adventure. But even something as simple as leaving the house, becomes exponentially more complicated with a child.*

Before Kids:

Items needed to leave the house:

  • keys
  • wallet
  • phone

After Kids:

Items needed to leave the house **:

  • keys
  • wallet
  • phone
  • diapers
  • wipes
  • placemat
  • fork
  • spoon
  • bib
  • change of clothes in the event of a poosplosion
  • bag for poopsloded clothes
  • water, milk, or water and milk
  • goldfish***
  • graham crackers***
  • apples***
  • apple-sauce pouch***
  • books (yes, plural)***
  • toys (again, plural)***
  • pajamas if there is a possibility of being out around bed time
  • stroller
  • boogie wipes (normal tissue just won’t suffice for my angel’s sensitive skin)
  • sunblock
  • sweater/jacket (unless less you want to be the negligent parent that everyone judges in the ginormous fridge at Costco)
  • flask

And the amazing thing is that nearly all the above items fit into ONE diaper bag, so it’s no wonder why Mrs. FWL has already been through three, each one bigger and with more pockets for organizing all this crap, than the last.

*With a toddler or baby

**Missing any item on this list can lead to chaos, tears, profanity, frustration, hunger, chrining, a tantrum, evil thoughts, or all of the above.

***Yes, all these snacks are needed, multiple books are required, and several toys are a necessity, because kids and decisiveness are like oil and water.