It’s has been well-documented across the internet that toddlers lose their shit over the most random things. They are basically human tectonic plates (hey, I live in California) – usually they are fine, but without warning they can slip, and all hell breaks loose. Seemingly ordinary actions cause an immediate and catastrophic meltdown, and we usually have absolutely no clue what caused it. In my brief time as a dad to a toddler, and inspired by a comment made by Mrs. FWL a few days ago while dressing our daughter, this is my short list of toddler meltdown triggers, that I’m sure will quickly grow:
1. Getting dressed (specifically shirts) – Who ever thought that putting on a shirt could spark tears? I’m not talking about the shirt that has a smaller-than-ideal collar because you forgot to unbutton some random button, but a simple t-shirt. Without fail, this daily ritual causes crying.
2. Washing/rinsing their head – Isabel likes her bath, sometimes even loves it. She has fun, seems to find something new every time, and it’s usually a nice time for us to wind down with her. Until it’s time to rinse her head. You’d swear we were torturing her. A happy kid turns into a banshee as soon as her soapy noggin needs rinsing. And a nice bath turns into a mad scramble to get her rinsed and out of the bath in under 5 seconds. Ugh.
3. Sunscreen – Like bath, we can get through most of this process painlessly. Until the face. Touch the face and the chrining reaches epic proportions.
4. Shoes – Fortunately, I think we’re past the freak-out stage for putting on new shoes. But this was another one that confused the crap out of us. One pair of shoes were fine. Put on a new pair? Cue the water works.
5. Meal completion – Ok, ok, we get it, you’re done eating. And no, you can’t escape from the chair. BUT DO YOU HAVE TO SCREAM? Let’s not forget the fact that you barely touched the meal your mother prepared – a meal that she probably had to make one handed because you made her hold you, and now you’re screaming at us.
6. Cars – Going anywhere always comes with inherent risks of being on the road. But there is no greater risk than the unpredictable behavior of a child. Anything under 20 minutes can usually be managed with a healthy supply of graham crackers. But going longer has the potential to turn into an absolute nightmare. And I don’t know if there are many things worse (in the parental universe) than being trapped with an exploding toddler and nowhere to escape.
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