Adapting to new situations is a skill that we refine with age (or in the case of Isabel, after 100ish days). Becoming a parent accelerates this refinement pretty drastically. I am in no way suggesting that other life changing events (ie. going to college, changing jobs, starting/ending a relationship, etc.) don’t also accelerate this process, but I already graduated college, I have had the same job for six years, and I’ve been with Mrs. FWL for 12 years – so becoming a parent has been the biggest change in my life for a long time.
During this past month, our entire world as parents changed.
The holidays caused us to significantly alter our normal day – naps changed, set routines changed, bed times changed. Luckily we’re only talking about a few days, and not in rapid succession, but those few scattered days were definitely a step out of our comfort zone.
Developmentally, Isabel was also adapting. She went through The Great (sleep) Regression as her brain began processing the plethora of new stimuli it could now absorb. She found her hands and hasn’t stopped sucking them since. And she got stronger – breaking out of her straight-jacket swaddle with more regularity and flipping onto her stomach (any parent knows what happens next…)
But the big adaptation came when Mrs. FWL returned to work. The easy part was entrusting others to care for our baby and fill a void that she/we once occupied 24/7. The hard part was accepting that after three months of constant bonding with Isabel, Mrs. FWL now only had an extended golden hour with her. Adapting to her drastic reduction in free time caused us to change many of our routines (foreshadowing to next month?), changes that I am still struggling to properly support her with.
Emotionally, it was incredibly hard for Mrs. FWL. On one hand she was returning to a job she loved, but on the other she was leaving a daughter with whom she was in love. Physically I think she was ready, but mentally her mind was elsewhere. Her time and priorities were different. She loved her kids, but loved her kid even more.
Coinciding with this, I left on a business trip. I left her alone and she adapted. She adapted like the rockstar mother she had become and the amazing wife I have always known. Maybe Isabel knew this, because apparently she “behaved” very well.
We will always be adapting and refining as we age, so who’s got the wine?
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