I consider myself very lucky. Mrs. FortyWeeks has great taste (and no she didn’t promise me anything to say this). She is also an online-researching fiend. Whether it’s DIY blogs or user reviews, she rarely buys anything without doing her homework and checking multiple sources for information, visuals, and tips. And I have to admit, I’ve become spoiled and impressed by her obsession.
When we bought our first house almost a year ago, many of the design ideas already lived on her Pinterest page, in her bookmarks folder, in our Houzz lookbook, or just in the trap of her memory. (By the way, if you have hours of free time to look at thousands of room photos for inspiration, checkout Houzz). Of course we came to the final decisions together, but she did 99% of the legwork.
We knew that one of the three bedrooms would become (and now is) the nursery. We also knew that we wanted a gender neutral space for our eventual child (which unknowingly was already growing at about the time of our move-in). And Mrs. FortyWeeks had of course already done research on designs, colors, furniture, etc. and had a good idea of what she wanted. Thus, we painted it Benjamin Moore Baltic Grey, and we love it.
I remember being asked countless times if the room was going to remain grey when a baby came. And the answer, “Yes, we did this on purpose,” was usually met without a reaction, but sometimes met with a look of confusion. Practically, I was not about to repaint a room that I had just paid to have painted. Philosophically, we did not want to impose a blue or pink world on our child; society was going to do enough of that without us having to lift a finger. But in our own home and in their own room, we could control the environment and messages we were trying to send.
Blue is my favorite color and I have nothing against pink, but our problem was with the norms associated with each color. And while I am extremely grateful for everything friends and family have bought our daughter, a piece of me rebels with every pink item received. But I know it is not their fault. When shopping for baby clothes you either get pink flowers and fairies or blue dump trucks and baseballs. At least as adults the palette is more diverse and one can find the same item in non-gender representative colors.
Mrs. FortyWeeks and I have already discussed Disney princesses and we do not plan on purposefully introducing these, nor do we plan on having a Disney Princess themed birthday party. But again, there is only so much we can control and we are both reluctantly aware of that. We will walk through a mall one day and see a Cinderella doll, and we will have to explain. And I’m sure we’ll take her to Disneyland and she will want a picture with Snow White or Mulan, and I’m sure we’ll oblige.
Are we going to deprive her of everything “girly”? No. She is her mama’s daughter, and mama has her “girly” side too. We aren’t unrealistic. We know she will develop her own style, and she could grow up and love wearing pink, purple, green, or blue. Or maybe her favorite color will be Benjamin Moore Baltic Grey, in which there is a can waiting for her in the garage.
For those interested in the prints shown in the picture above:
“Let her sleep…” (middle)
“Be your own kind of beautiful” (upper right)
Others items are from our own “collection”
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